Only Human
by MidnightUnderMoonlight
Summary: “Exorcist…Bookman…whatever you go by, you’re still only human.” A small conversation between Lenalee and Lavi, in which she asks him to choose: Exorcist, or Bookman? Barely there Lavi/Lenalee. ONE-SHOT.


**(A/N): ANOTHER one-shot. This time, with Lavi and Lenalee interaction. Just a little insight into Lavi's thought process, and what he would do if he had to choose between being an exorcist or being a bookman. It's a slight bit of romance, too, but nothing too much. It's barely there, actually. Enjoy!**

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They sat outside on the grass, on the outskirts of the Black Order, talking idly.

"Do you remember your real name?"

The question literally came out of no where, and Lenalee almost apologized, wanting to take it back. But Lavi, being Lavi, answered with all candor.

He smiled. "No."

It was always the same, insincere smile. Like it belonged on his lips, but only because there was nothing else that fit. It was rehearsed. He was _used_ to it. And he shouldn't have been.

"Anyway, 'Lavi' _is_ my name. It's who I am."

"And who are you?" she paused. "You kill demons, and you record history."

"While looking pretty good," he added.

She shook her head. "I always thought I had it bad. And then I look at you, and I realize I'm pretty lucky."

Lavi chuckled. "You have a sad story, too, Lenalee."

"At least I didn't give up who I was to be who I am now."

Another smile. "Didn't you?"

"I _am_ an exorcist," she said defensively.

He looked at her, a sad thought scuttling through his head. '_Did you think that way when you tried to kill yourself, Lenalee?_'

"I never said you weren't," he tried to amend, reprimanding himself mentally for even thinking something like that. "It's just…what would you be doing now if you didn't have this Innocence?"

Lenalee stared at her red-haired friend in an almost awed manner. Every night before going to bed, that was the question she always asked herself.

And she never knew the answer.

He leaned into her. "Who would you be, Lenalee?"

"Lavi…"

She didn't know what to say. "So you're happy, then?" she diverted the topic back to him. "Your place is on the sidelines, watching, remembering, recording…is this your life?"

He draped an arm around her shoulders, smiling cheekily. "It's not so bad when the people I watch are kind of beautiful."

She rolled her eyes, removing his arm from around her, but the slight warm tinge on her face didn't go unnoticed by Lavi.

"Is that what we are to you? Names and labels? Another paragraph in the history book?"

'_An entire book couldn't even begin to describe you all_,' he reflected bemusedly.

He sighed, and fell backwards onto the soft grass, his arms wound around his head and fashioned as a pillow.

"Lavi?"

"You were at first. But now…" he trailed off, a glazed look in his green gaze.

"Now?" she edged him to continue.

He gave a hearty laugh. "You guys are really growing on me, damn it."

Lenalee could have sworn she felt a twinge in her chest at the raw tone of his voice.

"Bookman's not going to like this."

Lavi smirked. "Who said my gramps needed to know?"

Lenalee giggled. "Kanda's not going to like it either."

Another burst of laughter.

And a comfortable silence fell between the two.

But the uncertainty in Lenalee was still gnawing away at her. She trusted Lavi with all her heart, but there was still something about him that worried her.

"Lavi."

"Hmm?"

"If you had to choose between being an exorcist and being a bookman, which would you pick?"

Lavi looked at her with the most serious expression she'd ever seen on his face. "If I had to choose between being what I want to be, and what God destined me to be, you mean?"

And in that moment, everything made sense. All the two-faced grins…the distressing looks he thought he hid so well…the underlying edginess in his words after every encounter he had with Bookmen, reminding him of his duties.

"I think the real question is: _can_ I choose?"

Lenalee was quiet for a moment, before she suddenly reached out to grab his hand, surprising him. "It's not set in stone, Lavi. You can always choose. Always." She gently let go of his hand. "You make it sound like the world is a big, scary monster waiting to swallow us up."

'_That's because it is_,' he thought desolately. '_And it always comes after, beautiful, innocent girls first because it knows that's my weakness_.'

"So…?" she prodded him, poking his shoulder.

"So?" he repeated.

"If you had to choose?"

Back to that again.

Lavi ran a slightly frustrated had through his hair. "You know what I'd choose, princess."

The familiar endearment brought a smile to her lips.

"Please don't ever give me a reason to feel like I can't believe in you, Lavi."

She surprised him a second time, encircling her arms around him to bring him into a warm embrace. "Exorcist…Bookman…whatever you go by, you're still only human."

A heavy feeling abruptly fell into the pit of his stomach as he returned her hug, smelling the sweet scent of flowers from her hair.

'Exorcist' or 'Bookman'?

He'd choose being a 'Friend' before any of those two stupid, retarded nametags.

**(A/N): Well? Let me know what you think!**


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